Ninja Winja

Third Whinge

2008-09-08T09:20:00.006+09:00

...Another Ninja Winja mission for all of us.
This time the Ninja will whinge about people who "over-share". Too much information is not healthy. Nobody wants to know if you're going to the bathroom (I had this happen to me last week... please just leave the room discretely), or what your bloody dream was about last night, and what about those strangers you randomly meet who want to tell you their whole life story. The truth is that nobody really cares about these things so keep it to yourself. They only have value to the individual being and there is no need to share with others. We must put an end to this behaviour immediately. I call all Ninjas to the mission.

RECOMMENDATIONS- Camouflage and Swiftness

Remember that old people are particularly likely to exhibit these behaviours.

Second Whinge

2008-09-01T21:37:00.005+09:00

Kon-nichiwa,
The Ninja Winja has returned with yet another problem to whinge about. This time it is the Sony Vaio notebook we must take down. This will be a tough and fearsome war but for the good of society we must succeed. Product placement is verging on the ridiculous with every new program on television featuring a freakin' Sony Vaio notebook computer. They [those media ppl I'm talking about...you know who they are] think we're dumbasses but we're not going to fall prey to their advertising tricks. The media: They Deceive, We Believe... or so they think. ALL SONY VAIOS MUST DIE!!!!!!!!!! PAINFULLY!

Weapon of Choice - Nun-chucks or a Motor Vehicle.

Here's some inspiration from regular people [Ninja's always do it better]:

First Whinge

2008-08-31T22:24:00.006+09:00

Hi Fellow Winja's,

This is my first thing, and my first online whinge. On Tuesday morning the Head Ninja Winga {i.e. Me} caught the train to Central Station to go to work [Yes, Ninja's do work. Ninja's have a noble duty but that doesn't pay the bills. By day one must work and act before becoming a warrior of the night]. The station platform has clearly signed directions above the stairwells marking which are entry's and those which are exits, nothing much to whinge about here. This only becomes an issue when some people choose to disobey the signage and walk up the wrong stairwell. I have just one thing to say to these people "F%#K OFFFFF!!!", they make life so much more difficult for other people and ninjas alike. Pushing against the flow of 'people traffic' irritates the hell out me. If only those idiodic people took the time to walk around to the correct stairwell they would find it takes a lot less time than their misguided 'shortcut' as they would not need to go against the flow and would also stop others from becoming irate. I call upon all ninjas to fight against this injustice and go to battle. No longer will we tolerate this kind of behaviour. Our first combat has been declared, and it is our noble ninja duty to fight for the cause.

HINT- Use Stealth and Courage to assist you in your quest for justice.

The Head Ninja Winja

Welcome Felow Whingers

2008-08-31T20:06:00.002+09:00

Welcome fellow warrior whingers to a blog not afraid to attack all those small [but most infuriating] issues you have with modern society. With a range of weaponry including nun-chucks, throwing stars and wasabi paste the aim of the mission [should you choose to accept it... and you should, or beware] is to put an end to all the annoying issues/people/places/situations involved in contemporary life.

First I will set out the Ninja Winja rules of obedience. Derived from ancient Shinto-Japanese text dating back to the early twenty-first century, these writings form the basis of conduct in our union.

RULE #1 - Sabotage, Espionage & Scouting are all legitimate tactics that are encouraged by the head Ninja Winja.

RULE #2 - Remember this is guerrilla warfare, destabilisation and the cause of civil/social unrest for the greater good are necessary to defeat the hostile enemy.

RULE #3 - Traditional Ninja camouflage should be worn at all time. NO EXCEPTIONS!!! We are the motionless breeze in the dark night sky.

RULE #4 - If all other attempts are unsuccessful, Assassination is the only choice.

RULE #5 - Failure is NOT an option

Power shall be with the elite warrior.

Ninja Winjas, the war has begun.